Nov 4, 2000

The RMS Interview

Trollaxor: Hey, RMS, what the fuck is up? I'm glad I got the opportunity to perform this interview with you. [coughs]

RMS: Hello, Mr. Trollaxor. I'm glad I got the opportunity to speak to another individual interested in Free Software that will reach millions with the message I wish to express in this interview.

Trollaxor: Yeah, whatever. Let's get this over with.

Jun 24, 2000

Eric S. Raymond: Arrogant Gas Baron

The following exposé, written under extreme duress, is the result of an information leak out of ESR's SourceForge fortress that is the center of his refinery compounds and gas chambers within his insidious Gas Barony.

The information did not come cheaply, however, and that is why I believe that this story must be published. A troll, in the guise of a hired Hessian mercenary, infiltrated ESR's SourceForge compound with the fullest of confidence among the dread Slashdot Moderators and the loathed GNU Patrol. It is in this expose that I detail the significant information the document that the covert troll gave his life to bring me contained.

Jun 19, 2000

An Apology

Hi. As you can tell this is Trollaxor.

I created this account because I thought it would be funny to troll Slashdot. It may be funny to troll Slashdot, but not in the manner I have been.

Jun 16, 2000

Troll Wars

It was three in the morning. The moonless night engulfed three individuals in complete darkness. Three individuals who moved, with surprising grace, toward a single destination. Three individuals on a campaign; a mission. A campaign to rid Slashdot of lame trolls. A mission to ultimately destroy Slashdot forever.

A low candle flame, flickering slightly in the crisp Autumn night breeze, lit the storm sewer corridors and access tubes with a deep yellow pallor. Faint whisperings, little more than leaves brushing against ancient cement walls to the rest of the world, could be heard.

“Where is Alan? I thought I saw him approaching a moment ago,” Trollaxor hissed. Standing a full six foot, with slicked-back black hair and a few day's worth of stubble, Trollaxor looked every bit the revolutionary in his black leather biking jacket. His green eyes pierced the dimly lit darkness, awaiting a response.

Jun 9, 2000

Tips for Trolling: ASCII Art

One of the most creative ways to express ones self in Slashdot's forums is with graphical, artistic representations; art. Since Slashdot (unfortunately for trolls) does not allow the embedding of objects, such as images and sounds, in HTML-coded comments, graphics must be constructed using textual characters: ASCII art.

Jun 8, 2000

Tips for Trolling: Trick Links

Post legitimate-looking comments containing links to “further information” that really lead the reader to:

  • a picture of a disgusting, mutilated, rotting human corpse
  • the picture
  • pictures from a gay fetish site (piss drinking, glory holes, barnyard promiscuity, etc.)

Jun 6, 2000

New Directions For Kernel Development

Hi. I'm Linus Torvalds, creator of the Open Source operating system Linux. I'm glad CmdrTaco and company have created a forum for Open Source news and views, and I am so thankful for being able to post in the Slashdot forums. But now I must get something off my chest.

Jun 5, 2000

I Have Relinquished My Linux Duties

Hey gang, Alan Cox here again.

I wanted to let everyone know that I am discontinuing my work on the Linux TCP/IP stack. After admitting to myself that it sucks, I felt I was disservicing the community with my niggardly code.

Jun 1, 2000

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

Hi. I'm Alan Cox, Open Source advocate, Linux advocate, and primary coder for Linux's TCP/IP stack. I hope I'm welcome in the Slashdot forums, as til this point, I've been a totally arrogant, antisocial bastard to the community which barely pays for my lifestyle.