May 20, 2002

Quartz Extreme Requirements

Okay, you assholes, one last time, try to get this one simple fact through your thick Steve-washed braincases: MAC OS X JAGUAR DOES not REQUIRE 32 MEGS OF VIDEO MEMORY TO USE QUARTZ EXTREME.

Every time there's new Apple hardware released, or some new rumor or tidbit regarding Jaguar, aka Mac OS 10.2, there always seems to be at least one idiot who posts something uninformed yet totally rude and arrogant like "ah, new hardware, outdated before it's even released." This makes my blood boil.

So what is it that you people think exactly? That upon installing Jaguar on a Power Mac G3 it'll reboot into text mode blinking "PLEASE UPGRADE VIDEO HARDWARE: INSUFFICIENT RAM TO DISPLAY MAC OS X?" Come on people, please. We know Apple's playing the "planned obsolescence" game now but that's a bit fucking ridiculous.

If there's not 16 megs of RAM, regular Quartz will run. If there's 16 megs of RAM, Quartz Extreme will run. And if there's more than 16 megs of RAM, it'll run really nice. GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SKULLS. Mac OS 10.2 will run on any system that Mac OS 10.1 will run on. Jesus fucking Christ, I run 10.1 on my stock Power Mac 8600/300 with no video card!!! You people really need to wake up.

To said idiots, morons, and imbeciles (which the Mac world seems full of nowadays, thanks to the Apple's fruit campaign bringing over loads of PC lusers), I'd like to shout a resounding FUCK YOU and link you to Apple's Mac OS 10.2 spec page so that, on the off chance that you can read, you'll see that Quartz Extreme doesn't require 32 megs of RAM, it just prefers it over 16 megs of RAM (which is the actual base requirement).

I hope this little rant helped get the message across about Jaguar's actual graphics requirements. I need to go lay down before I have some sort of blowout. I can feel my heart pounding in my head at 180 beats a minute.

May 8, 2002

Say Hello to iHub

I've got to hand it to Apple. They've improved iPhoto without falling backward. I just wonder where this is all going, what with all of the iApps and simplification of the operating system.

One really has to wonder if, in the future, Apple's digital hub idea is going to end up making a Mac a super-appliance while sacrificing the traditional empowerment one has oer their system. This has always been a complaint of PC and UNIX people, that Mac keeps the user well away from tweaking the system, and it looks to be coming true.

Imagine a Mac that you boot up into one giant panel — think Mac OS 9's Panel/At Ease interface. On this panel one would have options to browse the web, edit a movie, play music, burn a CD, chat, alter photos, etc. All good things, to be sure, and all things we can do now. But imagine this being it! The Mac would not allow installation of programs, or moving or deleting files. It would be a de facto all-in-one box, a dumbed-down PC that only allowe the user to work on projects and not really interact with the file system in any meaningful way.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the iHub. A connectivity and productivity kiosk that foregoes the overly-complex features of a regular PC. All the software you'll ever need comes pre-installed, updates to applications happen in the background without need for user intervention, and file management ends at the open/save dialog box. A built-in resource use analyzer alerts the user when they might want to clean up the hard drive (a single button does so, invoking a wizard that walks asks the user what to clean up), add more RAM (time to add memory! Please take your iHub to a local Apple-certified dealer), or a myriad of other tasks which most users ignore under the current user-driven OS interfaces of today.

I'd think long and hard about Apple's directions toward the digital hub. iChat, iMovie, iTunes, iPhoto, Mail.app: might all be the value-added end of a Mac now, but eventually they will be the only thing running on the Mac besides the OS.

Say goodbye to Mac OS and say hello to iHub.

Apr 1, 2002

The PowerPC Conspiracy

Since the late 90s, when Apple introduced the PowerPC G4 and Intel introduced the Pentium III, there has been a severe performance gap between the venerable Macintosh and the ubiquitous PC. Not only did the Pentium III have a higher clock speed than Apple's G3 or G4, but its performance per clock also increased. The days of Apple/IBM/Motorola (henceforth AIM) triarchy in the microprocessor business were at an end, its pinnacle reached with the Mach V, a PowerPC 604 variant that outperformed the Classic Pentium, MMX Pentium, and Pentium Pro clock-for-clock. With plans for the Mach VI and Mach X (the PowerPC 604r and 605, respectively) canned, Intel took sweeping strides toward the throne of CPU superiority and has held on with an iron grip ever since.

What Motorola doesn't want you to know is that this obsolescence was planned from the beginning of its involvement in the PowerPC fiasco. Owing to spite and jealousy over Apple's choice of IBM's PowerPC architecture over its own Ripfire 88k series, Motorola decided to trumpet Apple's decision despite the fact that it had something better Apple desperately needed at that point in time: the M68060, the sixth CPU in the hot 68k family. Keeping its hands quietly in its pockets and staring at the floor in silence, Motorola remained mum on the new specs for the '060 and let Apple purchase the PowerPC 601 from IBM, which would act as a time bomb set to destroy Power Macintosh performance.

The PowerPC 601 was the Piltdown Man of its family: it bridged the gap between the older POWER instruction set architecture (ISA) and its direct successor, the PowerPC ISA; in fact, the 601 actually included some POWER instructions and emulated others by stringing together PowerPC instructions—it could run binaries compiled for POWER chips unmodified. This little dynamo also out shined the Pentiums of the day, which ran at 50, 66, and 75 MHz. The 601 was generally 1.2-1.5 times as fast as a Classic Pentium at the same clock speed. Apple and IBM were pleased while Motorola snickered silently in the shadows: their M68060 was running circles around both the Pentium and the PowerPC 601 in a beast called the Amiga. To put it in perspective, the '040 and '060 Amiga lines actually used PowerPC chips as text co-processors!

As Intel glacially moved from the Classic Pentium to the MMX-enhanced Pentium (and also down-clocking the new line), AIM released the PowerPC 602, 603, 604, and 620 parts, all designed to conquer niches in the market that the stop-gap 601 could never be specialized for. The 602 was used in stadium scoreboards, remote-controlled Transformers, and the popular Nintendo64. The 603 was a very power-friendly chip and could turn its various subsystems off and so was used in low-end desktops, laptops, and network computers. Its older brother, the 604, was created to compete with the secret P6 project that would eventually produce the monstrous Pentium Pro. Finally, the 620 was a 64-bit überzilla with support for up to 128 MB of L2 cache and top clock speeds exceeding 200 MHz.

Years later, in 1997, the PowerPC 602, 603, 604, and 620 chips had either been canned or were severely losing steam. In a seemingly clever move, AIM took the 603 and augmented it. The result was the PowerPC 750, which came to be known as the G3. Motorola's plan to sabotage Apple's desktop performance had just been realized. By the end of the year, Apple was selling Power Macs that ran at 233 and 266 MHz while the last of its PowerPC 604-based line had been running at 350 MHz! Aside from the obvious fabrication limitations of the G3, it also ran slower per clock than the 604 had. Of course, with Apple's interim CEO Steve Jobs at the helm, Mac users did not question this blatant paradox. G3 systems were snatched up by the thousands.

Presently, it is clear that Motorola's nefarious plot has almost come to its fruition. Apple just recently reached 1,000 MHz while the Intel (and now also AMD) attained clock rates of 2,400 MHz in the same time frame. Motorola injected additional roadblocks into Apple's plans by not letting it move away from the abysmally performing 603 core—the G4 was just a hacked-up G3 with AltiVec and an FPU borrowed from the outdated 604!

It is clear that for Apple to survive, it must look beyond Motorola's PowerPC: IBM's own processors would be a good choice, and a logical one at that. One thing remains plain: Motorola is slowly killing Apple—from the inside.

Mar 4, 2002

Eric S. Raymond's Match.com Love-Letter

I do the club scene a lot, some say I am a good dancer. I enjoy having a few drinks, usually ale or mead, and I have been known to cause a scene now and then…

Eric paused, breathing heavily. He'd never done this before and he wanted to make sure all of his best qualities were included in this email.

Feb 26, 2002

Requiem for an Open Source Mullet

Today I arrived at work and noticed nothing unusual — except the shifting and shuffling sounds comeing from the Open Source Mullet's cubicle. Minutes later, he swung around my corner of the cubicle farm flung up a peace sign to me.

"See y'around, man!"

I had no idea of the terrible truth.

It turns out that the Open Source Mullet had been quietly fired just moments before I had gotten to work. It was a lesson in choice of software: Open Source and proprietary software, licenses, and philosophy do not mix. It wasn't a shock, really, but after a year I had mostly stopped expecting it. Still, there are things the Open Source Mullet taught me; ways he touched my soul; knowledge he passed on to me I will always hold near to my heart.

  • Kansas City's "Butt Hill" is home to the "people who wear leather but don't ride bikes."
  • Sweating, swearing, flairing your nostrils, and drinking 12 cups of coffee a morning are not ways to be productive.
  • OpenBSD is a far more superior OS for firewalling than Linux.
  • Insisting on using Linux as a backup system for a Windows network will severely unimpress your boss.
  • Being owned by kiddiez using the "Hitler Root Kit" (I shit you not) makes you lose face amazingly quickly, even before you decide to wipe and reinstall the entire box.

So there will be no more flairing nostrils, swearing under anyone's breath, suggestions of Linux as a viable solution to [insert your problem here], hole-ridden t-shirts with "SCHWAG" written across their fronts, or pickup trucks in the parking lot decorated with Greatful Dead stickers, animal skulls, and dried mud.

This is a scathing reminder to never use Linux. Not that I needed it; I use Mac OS X happily every day and would never dream of switching teams — Linux can offer nothing to me that Mac OS X doesn't do better. But the real-world repurcussions of using "Free" Software and "Open Source" solutions were never more vivid and in-my-face than this morning.

Let it be a lesson to you all.

Feb 14, 2002

Wanna Cyber?

brynscamaro (23:11:13): you can tear me up
Trollaxor (23:11:33): great
brynscamaro (23:11:46): want to cyber
Trollaxor (23:11:54): r u gay?
brynscamaro (23:11:59): bi
Trollaxor (23:12:10): are you flaming?
brynscamaro (23:12:22): I'm a bottom
brynscamaro (23:12:31): luv to be fucked
Trollaxor (23:12:32): ooh good
brynscamaro (23:12:56): I'll swallow all of it
brynscamaro (23:13:07): how would you fuck me
Trollaxor (23:13:19): without lube and until you cried and bled.
brynscamaro (23:13:30): really
Trollaxor (23:13:49): u dont think i could make u bleed?
brynscamaro (23:14:31): I would put my legs over your shoulders so you could go deeper
Trollaxor (23:14:42): i may kill you that way
brynscamaro (23:14:57): I want it
brynscamaro (23:15:04): fuck me
brynscamaro (23:15:32): I'm useing a dildo right now
Trollaxor (23:15:38): uh ok... "ohh oooh i am so hard... your hole is so tight, you little twink"
brynscamaro (23:16:12): harder baby
Trollaxor (23:16:43): i just ruptured your colon
Trollaxor (23:16:44): booooooommmmm
brynscamaro (23:16:47): tear my ass up
brynscamaro (23:17:04): cum on...be serious
brynscamaro (23:17:11): u gay?
Trollaxor (23:17:21): you're bleeding profusely
Trollaxor (23:19:01): i think you are passing out so i slap you and fuck you harder
Trollaxor (23:19:13): "wake up bitch"
brynscamaro (23:19:21): I can swallow 12 inches
Trollaxor (23:19:24): "you useless fuckhole"
Trollaxor (23:19:57): ok i take my shit-encrusted dick out of your ass and hold it in front of you. "swallow, bitch"
brynscamaro (23:20:21): I'll suck you good
brynscamaro (23:20:38): I promise
Trollaxor (23:21:09): ok lick the shit off of my dick first
brynscamaro (23:21:19): my ass is clean
brynscamaro (23:21:31): sucking on your head
Trollaxor (23:21:33): not after i got through with it
Trollaxor (23:21:47): there'sd blood and turd all over my hard throbbing cock
brynscamaro (23:22:12): thats nasty dude
Trollaxor (23:22:32): you asked for it
Trollaxor (23:22:33): now SUCK IT BITCH
Trollaxor (23:22:39): you twink, i want you to make me cum
Trollaxor (23:22:44): all 10"
Trollaxor (23:22:49): cumming all over your face
brynscamaro (23:22:55): sucking baby
brynscamaro (23:23:19): you taste so good
Trollaxor (23:23:34): does that blood and feces taste good too?
Trollaxor (23:23:43): TELL ME IT TASTES GOOD TWINK
brynscamaro (23:23:52): yes
Trollaxor (23:24:02): ok i slap you a few times. SUCK HARDER
brynscamaro (23:24:20): mmmmmm
Trollaxor (23:24:35): i want you to masturbate yourself as you do this
brynscamaro (23:24:45): i am
brynscamaro (23:24:47): u
Trollaxor (23:24:57): finger your asshole
brynscamaro (23:25:03): mmm
brynscamaro (23:25:09): wish it was u
brynscamaro (23:25:35): will you kiss me
Trollaxor (23:25:38): ok i take my dick out of your mouth
brynscamaro (23:25:41): suck on my toung
Trollaxor (23:25:43): i kiss you
Trollaxor (23:25:48): now lay down on the bed flat
brynscamaro (23:26:00): yes
Trollaxor (23:26:01): you know what's coming next?
brynscamaro (23:26:13): time to ride
Trollaxor (23:26:25): no lay on your back, boi
brynscamaro (23:26:30): ok
brynscamaro (23:26:58): lieing
brynscamaro (23:27:05): ready
Trollaxor (23:27:23): now i squat over your head, my asshole poised above your lips... i let out a thunderous fart and hear you sucking in the scent through your nose. then i let loose with a wet ripping noise… a 18" turd slides out, 4" wide, and firm, and you begin wolfing it down as fast as you can.
brynscamaro (23:27:25): fuck me
brynscamaro (23:28:55): thats fucking nasty... I would kill you if you did that you dickless bitch!

"brynscamaro" signed off at 23:29:31.