At the place where I work, there's an Open Source zealot with a mullet, the most annoying hybrid of human ever to exist.
He loves to throw around technical terms:
“Yeah, the SPARC's 64-bit!” he exclaimed to the temp we just hired.
“The AS/400's a pretty open systems,” he would mouth-shit.
What the fuck!?
So I coyly asked, “How are they open?”
Man, his fucking answer made me want to rip his head off and fuck his throat.
“Well, now that Linux runs on it…” and I heard no more.
I almost wanted to cry. And he went on about how the “major players” are all involved in Open Source, and how Open Source is this and that and blah blah blah… Lord, why did he have to work here?
It had come to the point where he would spout off about Linux with all of his buzzwords every time someone asked him a question, regardless of what it was.
For example, my boss had asked me if I had Photoshop for my Mac for a web project, and lo and behold, here comes Open Source Mullet with comments about how the Gimp is just as good, etc.
I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
DOES IT RUN ON MY MAC?
CAN I INSTALL IT WITH A FEW CLICKS, OR DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD A MILLION LIBRARIES AND COMPILE ITS FUCKING SOURCE CODE FIRST!?
CAN IT DO EVERYTHING PHOTOSHOP DOES!?
I DON'T THINK SO, OPEN SOURCE MULLET, AND I HAVE A JOB TO DO!!!
Anyway, I tossed him my lethal grenade: “My new iBook runs Mac OS X.”
Open Source Mullet flared his nostrils.
“It's Unix. A BSD userland with an optimized Apple kernel. And Apple's GUI and apps on top. Sure as hell don't need Linux on my Mac now.”
Open Source Mullet half growled. “When the hell did that come out?”
Man, for being such an Open Source advocate, he sure hadn't paid attention to the Apple Public Source License, an official Open Source license. Could he be nothing more than a Linux mark?
Well, to end my frustration with him for that day, he started having problems with his Oracle8i install. Thankfully that tied him up for the rest of the day.
I could still hear him hissing “fuckin' bitch” under his breath every few minutes though, and something about mySQL being a lot simpler to configure.
Oh well. I had made it through another day without murdering the Open Source Mullet.