Jul 2, 2010

Dear 2600: I dread the first Friday of every month…

Dear 2600:

I recently moved into a new house and my neighbor holds hacker meetings. My problem is, they're complete assholes. Your problem is, they all wear 2600 t-shirts and bring your magazine around whenever they meet.

They hack my wifi router and change the network name to stupid things like HACKME and NOPASSHERE. They also call my phone and make farting noises into it until I stop answering and shine lasers and flashlights into my windows. Last month they somehow made my doorbell ring over and over again all night long, and in the morning my trash cans had been shot to hell with paintballs.

The last straw came the morning after, when I woke up to find my mailbox full of dog crap. What the fuck, 2600!?

I dread the first Friday of every month. I’ve lost my patience with your members' harassing behavior and I hereby demand a response. Redressing my stress and time would be a good place to start, as would giving your little hacker club a talking-to.

So what exactly do you plan to do about this?

Don't make me involve the law.



  1. Vladinator, what a hacker hates is that his online alter ego get matched with theirs pathetic real life and identity.

    If you can, grab their names, address, job position, where they work, picture of them wearing the 2600 T-shirts, etc and upload them to your site.

    You may expose their real identities and the will stop bugging you or make them angry till the point they hack even your pacemaker ;)

  2. Why are you incorrectly identifying these clowns as hackers?

  3. fuck you trollaxor, corr fucked your mother

  4. Hey Trollaxor, why didn't you post that one on k5?
    People love you, there (except that dog poo smell which haunts you each time you've been opening a letter)!

  5. I have some of those 2600 assholes near me as well. My solution was to start growing chinese bamboo between our houses - then when it gets cut back a bit every year, it creates, effectively, a vietnamese boobytrap, so when they try to sneak into my yard they get skewered. Just use a hacksaw or coping saw to cut them at an angle ;-)

    Nothing illegal about trimming your own plants!

    And try putting LSD in between your faucet and your sprinkler, and hook it up to a motion detector - might get some freaked out dogs, but it might deter your neighbors as well - if not, at least they'll probably be less able to do any real harm, and more likely end up passed out in the street - SERVES THOSE FUCKERS RIGHT!

    (HAHAH dude, you're an awesome writer. I hope you get paid for some of your work :-) where is the paid stuff?)