In just the last few days, we have received literally dozens of reports that Steven P. Jobs, the current CEO of Apple Computer, Inc., will personally be shaving all body hair from his corpus to be included in the plastics of special iMacs, in efforts to promote iMac price drops for this Christmas season.
Apple spokeshermaphrodite, Leslie Theresa Doe, stated, “This was the opportunity to get Mr. Jobs really involved in iMac production. I mean, after all, he did steal the design from Amelio and Hancock!”
Being Syrian, Jobs's body hair is expected to be found in no less than 15 different systems, all being distributed across the world. Lucky iMac purchasers who find the magic follicles will be flown to Apple's One Infinite Loop campus in Cupertino, California for a special day held by Apple staffers and hired help: Local area barbers will be shaving the lucky winners' body hair as well! This is really a way to show the old Apple spirit is back!