Nov 19, 2011

QNX CRASHED MY CAR

THE Q-N-X OPERATING SYSTEM IS A BAG OF HURT COMMA AND I KNOW BECAUSE I'M SITTING AT HOME WITH MY ARMS WRAPPED IN CASTS FROM MY SHOULDERS TO MY FINGERTIPS AFTER MY CAR CRASHED INTO A RAVINE PERIOD TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS IF YOU DRIVE COMMA OR ARE THINKING OF BUYING COMMA A CAR RUNNING THIS QUOTE REALTIME UNQUOTE OPERATING SYSTEM PERIOD

I BOUGHT A NEW CAR LAST YEAR BECAUSE I WANTED THE MOST EFFICIENT DRIVE OUT THERE COMMA MEANING A V8 ENGINE RUNNING Q-N-X PERIOD IF Q-N-X CAN RUN HOSPITAL EQUIPMENT THAT KEEPS PEOPLES HEARTS BEATING AND LUNGS BREATHING THEN IT MUST BE OKAY TO RUN A CAR ENGINE COMMA RIGHT QUESTION MARK THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT AT LEAST PERIOD

SO AFTER I BOUGHT MY NEW CAR I HAD GREAT LUCK AT FIRST PERIOD IT WAS REALLY FAST COMMA USED VERY LITTLE GAS COMMA AND HANDLED GREAT IN INCLEMENT WEATHER PERIOD Q-N-X SEEMED TO BE THE BEST ENGINE OPERATING SYSTEM EVER COMMA BUT EVENTUALLY I NOTICED SOME QUIRKS PERIOD

FOR EXAMPLE COMMA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THE CONSOLE WOULD FLICKER ON AND OFF OR DROP INTO A TEXT INTERFACE COMMA AND SOMETIMES NOT RESPOND AT ALL PERIOD I THOUGHT THIS WAS WEIRD BUT MY CAR STILL RAN OKAY COMMA SO I GUESS THE PART OF Q-N-X RUNNING THE ENGINE AND BRAKES AND STUFF WASN'T TIED TO THE G-U-I PERIOD

IT'S FUNNY TO THINK THAT OF YOUR CAR NEEDING A SERVICE PACK UNTIL ACTUALLY DOES IN REAL LIFE PERIOD AFTER A COUPLE MONTHS THE POWER STEERING RANDOMLY CUT OUT AND IT GUZZLED GAS LIKE IT WAS 1979 PERIOD SO I TOOK IT INTO THE SHOP COMMA WHERE THEY REBOOTED IT OR SOMETHING PERIOD AND IT WAS FINE AGAIN FOR A WHILE COMMA BUT IT STARTED TO MISCALCULATE MY GAS MILEAGE AND OIL LIFE PERIOD

DESPITE ALL THIS CRAP IT STILL RAN AND I WAS ON MY WAY TO A FRIEND'S COMMA CRUISING HIGHWAY 101 COMMA WHEN IT HAPPENED PERIOD MY CAR STARTED ACCELERATING AND BRAKING RANDOMLY COMMA SOMETIMES AT THE SAME TIME COMMA CAUSING ME TO SHOOT AND WEAVE AND WRENCH ALL OVER THE PLACE PERIOD EVENTUALLY THE BRAKES SEEMED TO CUT OUT AND IT STARTED ACCELERATING REALLY DANGEROUSLY PERIOD I CAME UP ON A BUNCH OF SHARP CURVES IN THE ROAD I STARTED GETTING REALLY NERVOUS WHEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE PERIOD

THE Q-N-X CONSOLE DISPLAYED A SKULL AND CROSSBONES WITH PSYCHEDELIC EYES AND THE RADIO CAME ON WITHOUT ME TOUCHING IT PERIOD Q-N-X STARTED PLAYING QUOTE I CAN'T DRIVE 55 UNQUOTE BY SAMMY HAGAR AT FULL COMMA EARSPLITTING VOLUME PERIOD THEN MY HEADLIGHTS STARTED FLASHING AND MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS CAME ON AND SPRAYING WASHER FLUID COMMA KEEPING ME FROM SEEING THE ROAD PERIOD THE CAR STARTED RAMMING INTO THE GUARDRAIL AT THIS POINT AND THE POWER STEERING CUT OUT AND IT WAS ALL OVER PERIOD I HEADED STRAIGHT FOR A SHARP CURVE AND BUSTED THROUGH THE GUARD RAIL AND WENT DOWN OVER THE CLIFF COMMA I WAS WAVING MY ARMS AND SCREAMING OH SHIT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT

I DIDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING UNTIL I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL DAYS LATER COMMA AND NOW I'M LAYING HERE AT HOME IN BED HEAD TO TOE IN CASTS PERIOD I'M WRITING THIS STORY WITH OWE US TOO WARPS VOICE RECOGNITION SOFTWARE BECAUSE I CAN'T MOVE MY ARMS COMMA BEND AT THE WAIST COMMA OR EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM BY MYSELF PERIOD I HAVE ANOTHER SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS IN THESE DAMN CASTS AND JESUS CHRIST DO THEY ITCH PERIOD IN FACT COMMA IF NOTHING ELSE COMMA I HATE Q-N-X BECAUSE OF THIS GOD DAMN ITCHING PERIOD

THINK TWICE BEFORE PURCHASING A CAR RUNNING Q-N-X BECAUSE IT WILL POSSESS YOUR CAR AND SEND IT DOWN A RAVINE WHILE PLAYING HEAVY METAL WITH CROSSBONES TO TRY TO KILL YOU PERIOD TRUST ME COMMA IT'S NOT WORTH IT PERIOD IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY DON'T DRIVE A CAR THAT RUNS Q-N-X ON ITS ENGINE AND ELECTRICAL SYSTEM PERIOD IT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE PERIOD

7 comments:

  1. What model of car were you driving?

    What type of engine?

    Dohhhh-QNX doesn't run engines or breaks because they are not managed by 32 bit processors!!! - Please do your homework before spouting off like this.

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  2. @Anonymous, Nov 27 - the first poster was correct.

    Bits are calculated differently with QNX. As I recall there is a 2:1 ratio of chip:qnx bits, so a processor that rates as 32 bits for, say, BSD, would rate as 16 bits in QNX. Don't ask me why; it has something to do with register space constraints.

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  3. So, I take it, you are not a fan of QNX, then... but in any case, I did read a similar story, not sure if that was QNX but in that case the traction control got confused by a very brief patch of "black ice" and needed to be rebooted or at least turned off in order to work properly; but the engineer driving the car never though once to reset the computer, he though it was the transmission, etc.

    I would link to it but I'm too lazy to find the story again. Even though I have hardcopy somewhere.

    My point is, I think I'll drive old cars or disable the computers if I drive a modern one.

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    Replies
    1. More and more aspects of the car become computer-based as new models come out, mate. In the latest models, your car won't run properly, if at all, without the computer. Eventually, your car won't even start if the computer can't talk to components.

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  4. == Bipolar Disorder ==

    I am doing research on mentally ill patients. Especially touched as a linux user myself I decided to study and conclude a diagnosis on Linus Torvalds. It is obvious Linus is a sociopath with bipolar disorder and should be forced to take antipsychotics. Just look how many times he talks about killing, death, being a perfect God. Threaten people they should kill themselves. I studied Reiser too -a linux programmer who killed his wife- and i fear Linus will walk the same line.

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    Replies
    1. Very interesting hypotheses, sir. I would like to hear more about them.

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