The Terrible Truth About Kansas City Revisited

I know it's been over nine long years since my last report on the homosexual underground gay Kansas City faggot sex network, but I made it back from Butt Hill with more information on the sordid affair to share with you, the good common decent citizens of Kansas City who are fighting back against all of the eager gay cocks aimed in your direction!

Using my linguistic tools to descramble the secret codes embedded in many institutions around Kansas City, I have busted wide open the attempts by Kansas City faggots to lure straight people into the cummy mire of homosexuality, cock-lust, and anal perversion. Read on to learn what took me nine long hard years of spying and secrecy to uncover!

Kansas City

The city's name itself is seems quite boring at first glance, but upon examination, it becomes clear that Kansas City is really named as such because of the flaming gay immoral messages it contains within. What better way to hide the gay boiling homosexual cum than right beneath the surface of a boring city name?

“I yank scats” is an obvious tip of the gay hat to shit freaks everywhere, enticing them to come to Kansas City on their perverted sex vacations and check out the local underground homosexual scat scene, where they can pull shit out of fag asses with abandon.

Likewise, “scat ya skin” also addresses shit-play, talking about the famous Kansas City practice of covering a man's skin in a vile mixture of urine and feces meant to approximate paint! Only a bunch of depraved, homosexual cock-suckers could come up with something as filthy and odious as that!

Ah, but that's not all, because forms parts of names of other faggot homosexual outposts throughout this doomed city…

Kansas City Museum

As if this wasn't enough, even Kansas City's educational system is haunted by erect gay cocks circling around innocent children's heads. The Kansas City Museum tricks people into think it's a place of learning, but in fact acts as a beacon of gay faggot homosexual activity.

After admission, one comes to the snack booth, and a couple of dirty phrases: “a sack's nuts, yummies!” is not only a subliminal message to buy roasted peanuts, but also to lick and suck at a pair of cum-heavy, hanging gay testicles! “A cinema's yuk smuts” is a secret advertisement that the museum's theater plays gay porno movies at “special showings”—usually when children are present so they can program their innocent minds!!!

Farther into the museum, the outlaw history of Kansas City is celebrated with a look into the Wild West and modern jail systems. This is when someone might notice that Kansas City Museum is really just an anagram for “inmate's cum = ass yuk”, which couldn't be any truer. And don't forget “ass, sit, cum, yuk, amen!” Why the museum would want to promote gay anal prison rape sex is beyond me, but it's quite clear that the gays are the ones running the show there.

Near the end of the tour, all Hell breaks loose—literally! “Um, Satan cums, yikes!” is some kind of cute attempt at pretending that Satan worship and cum-guzzling faggotry don't go hand-in-gay-hand. As if Satan cumming was anything new to the Kansas City fags! But that's nothing once the tour guide begins with the bestiality.

“Yak's anus cum-times” clearly state that everyone should be fucking bovines. After all, Kansas City has a giant gay hard-on for barbecue, so what better than a spit roast of the animals on gay human dicks? “Yeti's mask cum-anus” just as openly sells innocent victims on the idea of homo animal mask orgies. Watch out for the fucking furry conventions! You're likely to get raped and cummed on!

Kansas City Star

The newspaper for Kansas City and its surrounding region, the Kansas City Star caters to the homosexual underground with cheap classified ads and editorials detailing special events in Kansas City's gay slums at bars like Buddies Lounge, Daddy's Back-Door Bar, Out-a-Bounds, and the Tool Shed. It's also available for free in gay bars and other homosexual gathering places!

Perhaps the best way to explain the connection is “risky Satan scat,” which is exactly what the leather-rooms of Kansas City cater to: devil-worship and shit-eating! You'll know what I mean when you catch a whiff of a leather-jacketed, mustachioed daddy bear after he leaves one of these filthy homosexual turd-rooms!

But that's nowhere near all of it. “A stinky sac star” is none other than the hottest young asshole of the week, usually featured by one or more Kansas City Star writers. “Tacky ass strain,” however, is the phrase the writers use to describe the unpracticed ass-antics of a fisting newbie. Watch your buttholes!

“Yank a strict ass” is pretty straight-forward, even though there's nothing straight about it! The men who wear leather but don't ride bikes like the S&M scene and the hard, grueling discipline that goes with it, including forced human toiletry. Don't go to the bathroom in Kansas City without checking to make sure there's not a face at the bottom of the toilet first!

Last but not least, the leather-shit-fags take their depravity seriously. They consider a “stinky sac as art” and, in turn, consider a “ratty sack in ass” as the height of their faggotry. If a man can insert his scrotum and testicles into another man's asshole, that's certainly something special—if you're gay!!!

Don't subscribe to this faggot paper no matter what you do, and refuse to pick it up even if it's free unless you want blasted with gay faggot subliminal messages!

Kansas City Trucking Co.

This one doesn't even need linguistically analyzed. “Kansas City Trucking Co.” was the first in a trilogy of gay porno movies, produced in San Francisco but filmed in the gay faggot capitol of the mid-West. This underlines the connection between Kansas City and the gay West Coast! The film features burly truckers, horny lot lizards, pissing, and real “wide loads” throughout—significant because of Kansas City's reputation as a transportation hub! More incontrovertible proof that Kansas City is a hungry slurping gay faggot anal sex hub!!!

But let's not leave it unexamined just because it's so “out” about its gayness!

Over and over again, the actors encounter worn out, bruised assholes that have taken too many cocks—just like in real-life Kansas City! “Again, stinky cock crust” describes the situation aptly, and “ass caking icky cunt rot” talks about the inevitable outcome of frequent cum-injection into homosexual asses. The same with “u, a stinky scat cock-ring,” in which used, rusty cock-rings that the horny truckers use are tossed aside casually when they become encrusted with too much dried feces!

The consequences of such bareback ass-play are dire, however, and many of the actors in this movie died of AIDS during and after the film's production. How better to describe this than “stinky tragic cock anus?” Let this movie serve as a warning of Kansas City's cock-infatuation and of the AIDS that “cums” with it!!!

Liberty Memorial

Of course we can't forget Kansas City's Liberty Memorial, the giant hard cement cock that advertises the city's depraved obsession with erect penises to all. Not only is it a turgid haven for dick-suckers, it's also a giant homosexual antenna broadcasting gay ideas all day long!

“Lo! Liberate my rim!” quite clearly commands one and all to set free faggot assholes by giving them a good, hard lick. “Rim a liberty mole” repeats the same message, this time referring to the many fags that pop up randomly like varmints from the trees and bushes around the Liberty Memorial looking for squirting cocks and willing assholes.

But that's not all! “Boy-mill rim-eater” alludes to the faggot conspiracy to recruit young school children into depraved homosexual acts, like rimming buttholes all day long. “Rim really bi to me” is used to ease straight youth into the Kansas City gay scene, transitioning them through bisexuality on the way to full-blown cum-gulping homosexual faggotry!

Rainbow Boulevard

We must return to Rainbow Boulevard. Eventually, all the desperate Kansas City faggots do! This road contains more hidden messages than a cruisy men's room at a US Air Force base. If you don't believe me, it frequently crashes my anagram-making software. Just read on to see why!

What might happen to a man who attempts to mount the asshole of a braying, bucking donkey? “Bi-burro vandal woe”, of course! The “woe” in question being when the violated animal kicks wildly and plants a hoof in the faggot animal rapist's balls!

“A brave oil rub-down” is another no-brainer, this one talking about the many massage parlors that dot the downtown Kansas City area offering relaxing massages for men which in reality are lube-heavy anal sex clubs where Kansas City fags trade semen and HIV.

“Devour brown labia!” is a command to lick the dark ass cracks, also known as the ass-cunt lips, of any man available. Rimjobs are a big deal in Kansas City! I hope you like the taste of nutty, chalky butt-sausage! But if you think that's bad, Kansas City is into bestiality too!

“A vile, boned burrow” refers to the asses of men in Kansas City, which have been plowed by long, hard homosexual cocks looking for a nice little cozy dark place to hide and shoot their cum in. There's nothing more disgusting than a hairy, santorum-dripping gay faggot asshole, so of course the Kansas City's favorite gay-pride road's name refers to it!

Conclusion

Whew. All of this painstaking research took years of spying on homosexual trysts, faggot tea-room parties, cruising the trails and paths of Butt Hill, and pretending to be “one of the guys” in order to gain the cum-conspirators' trust. But in the end it was worth it: otherwise, the Kansas City gays might convert your children into willing, HIV-breeding human cum-dumpsters.

Do not trust any sort of “gay-straight” alliances, homosexual marriage ballots, or gay friendships, Kansas City! It's all a ruse to get to you and your childrens' buttholes! Instead, view any sort of gayness with suspicion!!! It might mean your anal safety and a life without AIDS! Take the lessons I learned the hard way: the faggots are out to get you, your city is in danger, and in the end, it all spells D-O-O-M for the decent people of Kansas City.

Back to work now—the struggle against the gay faggot Kansas City homosexual conspiracy continues!