ESR's Favorite Mixed Drinks

Eric Raymond usually sticks with his Jägermeister, straight up and ice cold. But every so often, when our hero is out and about giving important talks to Linux fans across the globe, he'll have a mixed drink. Here are a few of his favorites.

Chocolate Milk

Perfecting a concoction initially invented by Emad and friends, Eric says it's a favorite of new Linux users. "It's got that young taste."

Served: On the rocks with novelty penis straw.

Garnish: n/a

Ingredients:

• 2 parts vodka
• 1 part diarrhea
• 1 part semen
• Chocolate powder to taste

Preparation: Shake and serve. Alternately, may blend with ice.

Golden Shower

On the go most of the time, Eric said this drink has everything needed to give him a stiff kick in the pants. "And you can keep recycling it too, perfect for traveling."

Served: On the rocks.

Garnish: Lemon wedge.

Ingredients:

• 2 parts Goldschläger
• 1 part Red Bull
• 1 part urine

Preparation: Mix and serve.

Jamaican Cum

Eric was first introduced to this drink while speaking at a JaLUG meeting and he still orders it every time he's in the Bahamas. If you're at the right bar, you'll get the right kind of "cream."

Served: On the rocks.

Garnish: Two maraschino cherries.

Ingredients:

• 3 parts spiced rum
• 1 part "cream"

Preparation: Mix and serve.

Kernel Dump

As Eric told the story, he made this drink one night while bored in bed with dysentery. "It might have been cholera," he said, "but either way it kicks."

Served: Straight up.

Garnish: n/a.

Ingredients:

• 1 part Jägermeister
• 1 part diarrhea

Preparation: Pour diarrhea first, then Jägermeister. May be served shot-glass-in-tumbler for effect.

Slip'N'Slide

Eric calls this "the summer drink" (italics his).

Served: In an Old-fashioned glass over shaved ice.

Garnish: half banana.

Ingredients:

• 1 part 99 Bananas
• 1 part semen

Preparation: Shake and serve.

Used Motor Oil

Eric got the idea for this drink after an argument with Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda. "It's really simple," Eric quipped, taking a mason jar out of his refrigerator. "You just have to save up ahead of time."

Served: Straight up.

Garnish: Sprig of mint.

Ingredients:

• 1 part Jägermeister
• 1 part semen

Preparation: Mix and serve.